…and I’m a thirty something wife and mother of two small children (or at least they’re still small in my eyes…7 & almost 6). I was born and raised in none other than Detroit, Michigan (Hey Detroit!) but currently reside in the great state of Texas (H-town hold it down!).
By day, I’m an elementary school librarian in a local public school district. I cannot begin to describe how random it is that this is my current profession. Before we get into this…let me give you a little more insight on who I am.
Anyone who knows me would probably say that I’m extremely goal-oriented. Growing up, I didn’t know what success looked like, but I knew I wanted it. This is why I was always the laid back, hard-working, straight-A, focused, quiet but vocal (if that makes any sense), cool kid that was always down for a quick turn-up session (as long as I didn’t have anything of importance to do). I thought my drive would lead me to a life of success, happiness, rainbows and butterflies (I’m sure those butterflies are around here somewhere). I can humbly say that just about every goal I’ve set for myself I’ve accomplished. But what has it gotten me?
Now, I’m not oblivious to what other people see when they look at me. From the outside it looks like everything is great. I have a graduate level education, a steady “career”, a loving husband, two amazing children, an energetic dog, a beautiful home, and many other things that I’m wholeheartedly grateful for. These are all the things that I wanted, the things I worked hard for.
So how in the world was I still so unhappy? Why was I still so unfulfilled? And dare I not utter those words to anyone. The immediate response would be something along the lines of: How can you be so unhappy? Are you serious?
It was only recently that I began to understand that MY success is just that…Mine. My desires, my dreams, my expectations, my path and my definition of success is not going to be identical to anyone else’s. People couldn’t understand why I was unfulfilled because, simply put, my desires were different from theirs. What I define as success is not the same as others.
So fast forward…
There I was with all of these things that I worked towards getting…that I thought led to this glorious life of prosperity. Instead of enjoying any of it, I continually (and I mean ALL the time) asked myself, “What’s next?” I never (ever!) took the time to enjoy where I was. I’m sure this was because I knew I wanted more. This question is what led me to teach in Detroit, go to graduate school, move to Texas to teach, then get my librarian certification (which by the way way is something I would’ve never considered before relocating. I never even attended a school with a library let alone teach at one). That age old question of asking myself “what’s next” is what led me to librarianship. Do I enjoy it. Sometimes. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start thinking about my next step that first year in the library. I. Always. Want. More.
That feeling of wanting more is one that I really wish I had the words to describe. It’s not just an emotion. It’s like a physical feeling in the pit of your stomach and in the depths of your chest.
Do you know how torturous it is to have this feeling inside of you while doing a whole bunch of nothing about it?
…and that’s when “Trust What’s Next” was born. I decided to be still and really think about why I kept striving for external forms of happiness. I thought someone would give me a position or that I’d reach a level in my career that would somehow take all of these feelings away and make me happy. Little did I know, everything I was searching for was within me. I stopped doubting myself, cancelled out some of the noise , and decided to trust myself and my journey.
I can’t begin to describe how excited I am to to embark on this journey with all of you. This is just the beginning…not just for me but for all of us. So are you ready to fulfill your own purpose? Are you ready to step out and take action for something that really matters to you? Are you ready to reach your goals? Are you ready to “Trust What’s Next” while taking charge of your life?
Well I look forward to embark on the journey with you.
Doesn’t it feel great to be empowered?!
