What No One Tells You About Jealousy and Inspiration

Oh, my goodness! Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!

This is what your mouth says. But is this how you really feel?

It can be extremely difficult to see someone excel in life when we personally feel like we’re stuck on a path to nowhere. While we’re singing the same old tune on this dead end road, we see other people accomplishing great things and something overcomes us. It’s a physical reaction that you can literally feel in the pit of your stomach. Your chest is overcome with a feeling that’s hard to describe. It’s a heaviness of some sort. Or maybe it’s emptiness. This feeling is intensified depending upon just how unhappy or dissatisfied you are with your personal circumstances. It’s not at all a good look.

You want to be happy, you really do. You’re not a hater. You want to see people excel and reach the heights that they’ve set for themselves. You love celebrating others and cheering people on. It’s what you do. We’re all in this together. When one of us succeeds, we all succeed. But you still find yourself saying…

Why can’t that be me? When will it be my time?

It’s completely acceptable (admirable even) to use someone else’s accomplishments as fuel. Getting inspiration from those you respect is awesome! It ignites something powerful within us and pushes us closer to the self we want to be. When I see someone accomplish something that I want for myself, I admittedly use that as inspiration.

I can do that too! Don’t believe me? Just watch…

I then commit myself to reaching those heights and accomplishing whatever goal comes to mind. It’s almost like I’m competing with successful people and they don’t even know it. This way of approaching challenges has been something I’ve done for years. I’ve never liked losing…ever (I need to work on that). I’m. Going. To. Win. How ridiculous is this approach? The drive is nice but the fuel needs some work…a lot of it.

While this is definitely a double edge sword, I think this form of competition is healthy in a sense because it pushes me to heights that I probably would not have reached otherwise. It’s exciting. A new challenge. Being complacent is boring and an indication that I’ve already reached my ceiling. Have I gone as far as I’m going to go? Have you? Absolutely not, which is why it can be hard to watch other people excel.

Perhaps reluctantly, we have to consider the idea of jealousy. Am I simply using other people’s experiences as inspiration, or am I green with envy? Is this pit in my stomach normal? Do I need to accept the fact that I’m jealous of the person over there winning a competition that I’ve made up in my mind? How do I decipher between the two?

It starts with understanding the following:

1. There’s enough out there for all of us. No one’s going to come along and take away all of the success that should have been yours. If necessary, use other people as motivation. What’s meant for you is for you. You just have to do your part and go get it. No need for jealousy. Though waiting can be tortuous, remain determined to be the best YOU and continue rooting for others to be the best THEM.
2. Plan, plan, plan! What do you want? I mean, what do you really want? You can’t simply say “I want more.” What does that mean? Be specific. Once you know what you want, you can efficiently take steps towards making that happen. Without this, you’ll be all over the place. You’ll see one successful person after another and attempt to recreate their  path. This will cause you to pull from too many hats. Figure out what you want, make a plan, and stick to it. Once you do this, you won’t be thrown off track when others excel. Rather, you’ll be genuinely happy and understanding of the fact that your time is coming.
3. Create your own blueprint. So often, we see someone else succeed and want to recreate what they’ve done. They’re path is theirs, yours is yours. Of course you can get ideas and inspiration from others, but remember it’s just that…inspiration. Trying to do what someone else did step-by-step is a fail waiting to happen. Be you!
4. Keep going! You (whether you like to admit it or not) are an inspiration to someone else. When you find yourself saying, “When will it be my turn?” think about all of the things you’ve already accomplished. Where you are now was likely a goal of yours sometime ago. Don’t become complacent but don’t ignore your successes.
5. Trust What’s Next. Yep, just that simple. There’s something next for you. Don’t doubt it and don’t deny it. Be patient, be diligent, and be ready!

Have you ever found yourself trying to fight off the feeling of jealousy? Have you created your own blueprint? What steps are you ready to take today, tomorrow, and the next day for YOU? Inquiring minds want to know… =)